This weekend I worked at cleaning out two sections of a barn with Nate at his parent's farm to prepare it for a barn party next weekend. Now this was a pretty simple task really, just moving some equipment out (I got to drive a tractor :)) and sweeping straw/pig feed/dirt/dust into piles and getting rid of it. The entire process took about four hours, and it was quite therapeutic to work with my hands. I was happily (at first) sweeping, when a big wind came through the large barn doors sort of like a wind tunnel and blew some straw back onto my already swept floor. I went back, still smiling at this point, and swept up the errant straw/dirt combination again. And once again, the winds came, and again, I swept the straw and dirt back into piles to be removed. Repeat this process multiple times and I was no longer smiling, but feeling instead quite grumpy and frustrated. I even asked God to make the wind stop. He didn't make the winds stop. But instead, a wonderful thing happened among the straw, dirt, and pig feed. God showed me something cool. It seemed as though He was saying to me, by His Spirit, "My child, this is how I feel about you sometimes. I work hard to purify you, to teach you lessons, to reveal myself to you, to love you, and the winds of life come and blow you around. You forget all I've done for you and the promises I've given for your life. You forget so easily. Hold fast to me, do not be moved by the winds of life."
As I stood there in the barn, heart full of gratitude to God, sharing the revelation with Nate, holding my now still broom, I was impressed by God's amazing patience for me. So many times I allow the winds of life to cover over or blow over God's grace for my life. Why I do this, I don't know, but leave it to God to teach me a lesson so beautiful surrounded by straw, dust, and pig feed.
Maybe this will encourage you, too. I hope so. God is so good. So gracious. So fun!
James 1:2-6
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
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This is like the 10th time I've seen this verse out of James this week. That whole book is so good. But I feel the same way you do, like I'm always reversing God's work in my life. Sometimes I wonder why God doesn't just get frustrated and give up. True, real, unconditional love I suppose.
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