Wow!
I stand amazed right now... God is so good, so faithful, so loving and definitely so patient with me...
This year, so far, has been filled with travels to Ethiopia and India and connecting to many friends and coworkers who are radically in love with Jesus, a parasite (not so friendly) problem I picked up in Ethiopia, and carried with me to India and then home again... A trip out west to ski and get engaged, wedding planning, missing out on a trip to Colombia due to the nasty parasite (try explaining to me why I couldn't go on the trip, why it was safest for me to stay here, when so many I have grown to love were there, just a plane ride away... I cried every time I thought of it for days...), a visit from my mom and sister over Easter weekend, and all that before the first quarter of the year ended.
My trips to Ethiopia and India, once again, made me fall more in love with God, more in love with those He has created and called into a love relationship with Him, and a renewed sense of duty and calling for the 1.8 billion who have never even had a chance to choose Jesus... I am heartbroken again, at the hopelessness... At the same time, I am alive in the truth that God is sovereign and absolutely beautiful. He wants their hearts. He loves them with a passion we cannot understand as humans. I am delighted as His undending love envelops me. I am delighted that He is allowing me to work for Him in this role... I love it!
I came home from the trips honestly very overwhelmed. Three years ago, when I started, there were 20 programs, and now there are almost 100. Lord, what are you doing? Lord, can I handle this? His answer is always, "I am calling the nations into their inheritance. And yes, you can handle this, if you remember to rely on Me.". Ah, yes. Rely on Him. I'm still trying to understand that... I can no longer remember everyone's names at the meetings, but their faces, their stories, are undoubtedly etched on my heart... The testimonies of God's grace and goodness are too, and I am in awe. Truly in awe. God is amazng!
I am taking a Bible Study right now called "A Woman More Precious than Jewels" and I am challenged. The writer continually turns our eyes and hearts to the Lord, reminding us that submission to our husbands doesn't come easily and cannot come if we are not submitted to God. She also reminds us that we never sin against man until we have first sinned against God (ouch!). Loving the men in our lives comes from our heart to God. Do we really trust Him? If so, why is it so hard to trust the men God calls into our lives? Why do we try to change them? Aren't they created for God's glory? Didn't He bless us with them? It is not our job. God, help me as I prepare for marriage, to continually trust God with my life and with Nate's life. He alone is worthy and He alone can do it. God wants the best for our lives, I just know it!
My friends and mom and sister held a bridal shower for me last night. I can honestly say it will go down as one of my favorite nights of my life... So wonderful... I sat there, surrounded by 30 women, all who love me, as they poured out advice, wisdom, encouragement, etc. onto me... I am in awe that God has chosen to give me so many who love me... Who am I? It is a gift.
This life that God gives me, I am reminded as we celebrate the Easter season, is nothing short of a miracle. The gift of knowing Him, of loving Him, and of being loved by Him is astonishing. It blows my mind... God, Jesus, would die for me... He wants to be Lord and Savior to so many more! How wonderful. How tragic. I hope they can hear... I desperately want them to hear... My heart longs to know I will see them in heaven... My heart, however, cannot fathom the depths of God's heart for them... It must ache.
Nate and I are working through our premarital counseling right now and it has been so good. Hard, but good. I like it. I am challenged. In the first week, we wrote out our individual missions. This week, we got to sit down and dream together. What will God call us to? We think He will use us for sharing His love, building up the broken-hearted here in the US and around the world. It's exciting to me to be with a man who is not afraid of living cross-culturally, or counter-culturally. He is not afraid of marrying a woman who travels and lives a somewhat odd existence (by the world's standards), whose calling is a bit radical. I like it! Who knows what God will do with us? We do know for now, and always, we will hopefully remain faithful to the One who is worthy... With His help... With His help.
I love you all, thank you for your love, your friendship, your challenge in my life... I am in love with God and I am definitely in love with the Jesus I see in you... You are with me...
I think I will count this as a year where I begin to understand just a bit more of God's love for me... It is overwhelmingly sweet. I love Him.
Jenny
PS - wedding planning is not stressful, if you don't let it be :) Oh, and if you're surrounded by AMAZING people :)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
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